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Traditional gender roles allow women to be yin, but if a woman is too yang — if she gets angry or fierce — people get scared and often insulting.
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Self-kindness means we soothe and comfort ourselves when in pain.
Common humanity involves recognizing that suffering is part of the shared human condition.
With yang self-compassion, the three components show up as fierce, empowered truth. We no longer choose to avoid seeing or telling in order not to rock the boat. When we hold our pain with fierce-empowered-truth we can speak up and tell our stories, to protect ourselves and others from being harmed.
It is challenging to hold loving, connected presence together with fierce, empowered truth because their energies feel so different.What really struck me, however, was the demeanor of Dr. While she spoke with confidence when discussing her area of expertise — the psychology of trauma — at other times she spoke like a young girl who needed to placate all these powerful men so they would like her.This doesn’t undercut the courage she showed for being there — it was tremendous — but she clearly felt she had to be soft and sweet to be heard. Imagine if she had shown her righteous anger at Kavanaugh for derailing her life, she indeed would have been discredited.Blasey Ford as a confused victim who was somehow mistaken about what happened to her all those years ago.I hope that soon women such as her are allowed to be fully empowered. To call upon the strength and fierceness that is the birthright of all people.She was allowed to show her pain at being victimized, but no more.Kavanaugh, in contrast, was celebrated by many of the male senators for being angry and enraged at being “wrongly” accused.The three core components of self-compassion according to my theoretical model are self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness of suffering.These manifest in yin self-compassion as loving, connected presence.Why feminine ideals of care need to include anger and resolve if we are ever going to stop being controlled by men. Blasey Ford to tell the world about her memories of the humiliating and sexually aggressive way that she said Judge Kavanaugh violated her as a teenager.She has since had to go into hiding out of fear for her life.